“And you’ve managed to complete a course of CBT, started enjoying life again.” Charlie took another sip of Rioja. “Some years we tread water, and that’s an achievement in itself. Give yourself a break.”
THIS is why I have friends who are smarter than me. Because as simple a concept as that sounds, how many of us actually let ourselves off for not achieving the things we wanted to?
2017 has seen a lot of changes for all of us. We can think of all the scary, world-wide political changes. We all have our own personal, smaller things that have blown our little world apart. Some of us have managed to attain amazing personal accomplishments this year. If you, like me, don’t feel you have – I’m telling you, as I’m telling myself, that it doesn’t matter.
Treading water is frustrating, dull, interminate. We aren’t going to write scintillating Instagram captions about staying in the same job, home, keeping the same friends, romantic status. Inspiring others doesn’t happen when we’re just persevering in our day to day life. But. Treading water, perhaps obviously, means we haven’t drowned. For me, that means I’ve managed to stay in paid work despite some days feeling like getting out of bed is impossible. I’ve not got even further into debt. I put on weight at the beginning of the year, then lost it, therefore maintaining (kind of), a perfect size 12. I’ve managed to retain and in some cases nurture, existing relationships and be wise enough to know that gathering new people in my life wasn’t what I needed, no matter how tempting it was. For others I know, they have faced incredibly shit times and managed to carry on going.
No, that’s not exciting. But it’s incredible to me. We have had the resilience to carry on, no matter what. Even if some days we spent all day in our beds and watched 11 hours of Netflix. I still think that’s worth bragging about. And I’m hopeful that the boring, trudging groundwork I’ve put in this year has set me up for a much more exciting 2018.